So this is how it goes.
We take the track and start skating. They call out t-stop. I do it. Another t-stop. This one catches me off guard and on a turn and it's quite sloppy. That's okay. 180 turn. I fall. 180 turn. I stay up but wobble. Left knee drop. I know I can do this. Nope, fall. Right knee drop. I'm excellent with these. Nope- fall. Screwing up the knee drops destroys my game face. This was my go-to. I had thought that doing flawless knee drops would help make up for other shortcomings. Now I feel defeated. In my mind, this is already over. Left leg glides- not stellar. Right leg glides- awful. One more try. Left leg glides - pretty well nail it! Yay! Right leg glides- still awful. I'm already exhausted, hot, in pain, and I'm sure I failed. Should I keep going? Why kill myself? I want to cry and I want to go home to my family. I'm wasting my time and everybody else's. Im too old and too dat and I'm never going to be able to do this. Okay, deep breath. I swallow my misery and I decide to stay. I don't want to quit.
Falls. I do a rockstar a little roughly, then a second one a bit better. I do a couple of four points, but they are rough. I have a bit of trouble getting up from them. I do my three laps squatting okay and a lap of watermelon. Then we're asked to do scissor skate, which I have never heard of. It is demonstrated, and I recognize it as a technique for learning crossovers, but I didn't know it was its own thing. I've never really practiced it. I am not stellar at it.
We take a break before doing hits. I ask Mary if I should even continue. Seriously, I feel like I'm dying. Yonus, it's just so hard to keep pushing myself when there's no hope. She says I'm doing better than I think I am. I don't believe her, but I hang in there.
There are four of us taking the test, so they pair us up for whips. Whips go very well for me. I'd like to thank Val, Harmony, and Tanya for teaching them to us. Next it is time for hits. Generally I'm not bad at hits. I'm hopeful this will go well. Now, I had thought that we would be paired with a vet for taking and giving hits. Instead, we are paired up with each other again. I am paired with Christie. This is a problem for me. You see, it's much more nerve wracking and difficult to trade hits with another newbie than it is with a vet. You both know you're not as stable, and you don't want to be too rough or to trip anybody. On top of that, Christie broke her leg a while back, and just got her cast off about two weeks ago. I already know that when I give hits I tend to accidentally lock wheels with the person I am hitting, causing both of us to go flying. I've asked the vets about this, and they say this will go away with practice.
Meanwhile, however, I'll be damned before I become the person that sends Christie back to the hospital. I'm concentrating so hard on keeping my skates away from hers that I can't even connect to her when I try to hip check.
This is awful. The sting of tears burns my eyes. My lungs are full of hot coals. I can't control my breathing; I gulp for air. The room is spinning. I've failed. Why am I still punishing myself. I remove my helmet.
"You're up Ramona."
"Nope I'm out. I think it's obvious I'm not ready."
"Ramona, you really are doing better than you think. There are only a couple of skills left."
Okay. Here I go. I surprise myself with my weaves, do my jumps, attempt the bounce-off-the-rail exercise, and fight my way through quick feet.
It's time for laps. 25 laps in 5 minutes. You know what? I'm going to do this. I want to know that I can make this happen. I'm no longer trying to pass or to impress anybody else. I need to grab this strength from inside myself. I take a drink and get to the track.
The whistle blows. I take off. I keep up with the others. I'm doing it. I'm exhausted and I hurt all over and I'm discouraged but I'm doing it. It's crazy hot in here and I'm woozy and nauseous but I'm doing it.
I'm very woozy and nauseous.
Extremely woozy and nauseous.
Make that dizzy and sick. Very sick. If I don't get off this track RIGHT NOW I'm going to vomit. I slow down and step off the track. I'm disappointed but need to recover.
Oops, too late.
As my skates hit the floor outside the track, I realize there is no stopping what is about to happen. Can I make it to the bathroom, or do I need the trash can? I think I can make the bathroom.
As I head that way, I hear, "Ramona keep going, you can do it!"
Nope. I can't.
I can, however skate the fastest I have ever skated in my life, jump over the huge crack in the floor, hurl myself sideways into the bathroom hallway, and do a rockstar knee slide up to the toilet. I do all of this while removing my mouth guard and helmet. I make it in time- barely.
I am quite embarrassed though.
Vera says I can work on a few things and try again as soon as I am ready. I'd like to try again in a couple of weeks. How do I get ready?
I think a lot of my trouble is the heat. For the past couple of weeks, my endurance is shot. I'm like a brand new skater again. That's why I'm screwing up knee drops and such. I just feel like my body can't do it. I had thought it was a mental thing and I just had to push through it. I think my body's signal is pretty clear now, though.
Any ideas how to increase endurance and reduce vomiting when skating in the heat?
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